Forced
by Elric-Chan
Summary: Ritsuka and Soubi have a meaningful conversation... which could lead to something more. [shonen ai]


**Disclaimer: Loveless is basically amazing. Yun Kouga is basically amazing. I... am not basically amazing. Which means that I don't own Loveless.**

**I will apologize now for the long strings of dialogue. I know they get a little tedious to read, but bear with me. Soubi and Ritsuka discussions are always important, right?**

**Uh, well, I just recently got into reading Loveless, but I've liked it for a long time. I just learned the side characters and the little plot holes and all the good stuff, so I think it was time to add a Loveless ficcy to meh collection.**

**And, ooh, I just got my high school class ring! It's so pretty! It's silver and has a blue stone (ahem... ice blue royal cubic zirconia... I just call it expensive fake blue diamond), and it has a dragon on the side! I just love watching it sparkle and shine as I type! Yayness!**

**Enjoy, and please, by all means, let me know how I did for a Loveless first timer!**

**P.S. I still have my cute little ears! Yay!**

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**_FORCED_**

_Ritsuka's POV_

XXX

I sighed.

Soubi was here.

It wasn't anything new. But his precense always evoked something in me... something I couldn't understand.

"I love you."

His voice rang out, clear as a bell, yet still soft and child-like.

"Ritsuka."

I had become accustomed to hearing his saying "I love you", even if I didn't like it. I didn't want him to love me. It just seemed wrong. But I could do nothing as he sat down beside me on his couch, smiling all the while. I was at his house, also nothing new.

"Ritsuka."

"What?"

He didn't answer, but laid his hand on my leg. It was a harmless, innocent gesture, I knew by now. My ear twitched.

His lack of ears had always intrigued me. I wanted very badly, almost painfully so, to know who had taken them from him. I had never asked outright, but he could always hear the curiosity in my voice, could always see it in my eyes. It had bothered me at first to see him earless. He was a grown-up, I knew that, but he'd had too many close calls with trying to take my ears. I wasn't ready for that, and I certainly didn't want someone who had no ears of their own to be taking mine.

"Please, Soubi." I jerked away slightly, watching his hand fall limply onto the shining leather. He gave a small inward sigh and ruffled his fingers through my hair, catching an ear with a glint in his eye.

"Soubi!" I stood up halfway, looked at him, and strode to the kitchen. He was at my heels in a matter of seconds.

"Is there something you would like, sir?"

And he caught me. Off-guard, as always, but fast enough enough to kiss me quick on the lips, my face held between his cold hands. I pushed him away and returned to the couch, daring him with a look of daggers to even try and follow me. His wondering eyes watched me, but he didn't move.

"I love you." he said with that infuriatingly sincere smile.

"Well, I don't love you. I don't even see how my brother ever trusted you, with you kissing me unannounced like that."

"Seimei was a very open person," Soubi said, his voice sad. "He accepted me."

"Are you saying that you want me to accept you?"

"I'm saying that I'd like you to."

"What's there to accept? The fact that you don't have ears?" I could feel an argument brewing. "I'll bet Seimei wasn't too pleased about that either, was he?"

I was saying the magic words. Soubi was calm, but I knew he was sad.

"I can't force you to accept me," he said, ignoring my last comment. "I can't force you to do anything."

"But I can." I said, almost viciously, taking advantage of the attribute I hated most about him: the fact that he would always do whatever I said without question. "I can make you do anything I want, and you'd do it."

"...Yes."

"Why, Soubi?"

"Becuase it is Seimei's will." That always stung at my pride a little, knowing that it was because of my brother's orders that Soubi loved me. "And because I love you, Ritsuka."

I scowled.

"Did you love Seimei?"

"Yes."

A sudden thought occured to me.

"Did you ever... kiss Seimei?"

He didn't answer, but glided to the couch to take the seat beside me again.

"Soubi, you promised to be honest with me!"

No sooner were the words out of my mouth did I realize that this was his weakness. I had an even better question for him now.

"No, Soubi, answer me this! How did you lose your ears?"

"I... I should think that would be obvious, Ritsuka."

"So you slept with someone! Who? When?"

I watched as his eyes fell, sadness clouding his handsome features.

"I did promise."

"Then why haven't you ever told me?"

"You never asked. You always wondered, but never did I hear the question."

"Well I'm asking now!"

His eyes flicked to mine for a fraction of a second. "It's not something I want you to hear."

"I know about all that stuff!"

"No, Ritsuka, you don't understand."

"What's there to und-"

"I was forced."

His voice was so quiet that I barely caught what he had said. His eyes, brimming with grief, met mine.

"It was a man, Ritsuka."

I let the words sink in. It was not uncommon, two men. I was sure that Seimei had felt he would lose his ears to his fighter, as would any other unit. But the fact that Soubi had been forced... his ears taken without his consent... it must have been painful.

"So now do you understand? All this time that I've said I loved you and tried the things that I did... I wanted to protect you. I wanted to be your first... so you wouldn't ever have the risk of going through what I did. I... wouldn't hurt you like he hurt me."

I sat there, staring into his eyes, feeling the heat creeping up my neck. He wanted to take my ears... to protect me. He wanted to be the one that did it, to ensure that the loss of my ears would not be painful or in vain. Everything he was saying was making sense. I'd... I'd been wrong all this time.

"I wanted you to trust me, so you'd let me close." His eyes were scorching into mine. "I wanted you, I'll admit. Apart from wanting to protect you, I wanted to feel you, to feel that you loved me."

"So... all this... for sex?"

He chuckled softly. "I suppose you could say that."

He looked away, and for the better, because my face was starting to burn.

"Soubi..."

He inclined his head to me, a sinfully handsome expression on his face. Our eyes met again.

"What would you do if I let you?"

His eyes widened ever so slightly. I could tell he hadn't been expecting this.

"Ritsuka?"

"What if I..." I said, still blushing furiously, but never taking my eyes off his. "What if I let you do it... now?"

"Now?" he asked, an incredulous expression on his face, surveying the open room and looking down at the leather of the couch, his eyes glinting again.

"Ritsuka?" he said again. It wasn't a question; it sounded more like an invitation. His eyes fellon the door to his bedroom. He seized my gaze, lest he say my name again, and slowly attempted to kiss me again. This time I allowed it. I saw no point in resisting, seeing as how much more than that would be done very shortly. Besides, it was tolerable.

Standing up, his cool fingers laced with mine as he pulled me to my feet. I blushed at the thought of what I was agreeing to. It all just seemed too quick.

"Don't worry, Ritsuka, I'll... guide you through this." I could hear the wanting in his voice.

"Soubi... h-how do you know what to do?"

He smiled. I couldn't even feel my footsteps across the floor.

"I'm an adult, Ritsuka. It comes with the territory." And he reached for the doorknob.

Passing through his door felt like a point of no return for me. I would enter with cat ears and emerge without them. What would happen in this room was sacred. Daunting, frightening, and completely unremissable, but sacred.

Soubi's gentle lips calmed me with another kiss as he shut the door behind us. I stopped at his mirror, running a finger over the delicate fur of my ear. Soubi stood behind me, smiling.

I can't say my heart wasn't pounding. My eyes, full of uncertainty, sought his. He hugged me from behind, murmuring an "I love you, Ritsuka" in my ear and placing a soft kiss on my neck. I watched our reflections, mesmerized by his sensuality and gentleness.

"Don't be scared, Ritsuka," he whispered, taking my hand again. "I won't hurt you."

**_OWARI_**

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**That's the end! No ifs, ands, or butts about it! Uh... I mean "buts". Eh heh...**

**-immature moment of the day-**

**Really, I expect to get a million reviews saying "omg continue and make a lemon plz!", but this is end. Finito.**

**You can just use your imagination to think about how Soubi is guiding Ritsuka through the process of "losing his cat ears".**

**-uses imagination-**

**Mmm... yaoi...**


End file.
